The Chosen WOD

Yom tov, goys (that’s “Good Morning, non-Jews” in Christian)!

Today is the 6th night of Chanukah and here at Hypoxia, we are celebrating it the same way that Jews all over the world have done for centuries … with a CrossFit JewFit workout. Some schmendrik with way too much chutzpah for his own good thought this would be fun. If I were a goy, I’d go ahead and smack that schmuck in the head next time you see him. Actually, I’d (also) smack the goy who let this schmuck program the WOD!

Because we are celebrating Chanukah, all athletes are encouraged to complain as much and as loudly as possible throughout the WOD. Don’t hold back people … Moses sure wouldn’t have.

The Chosen WOD
Warm Up
40x (1 round for each year in the desert)
1 Squat

Then …
40 Double Unders
40 second Plank Hold
40 second Handstand Hold

Mobility
PNF Hamstring
PVC Pass-through

The Festival of Suck
1 Handstand Push Up
2 Body Blasters (burpee -> pull up -> knees to elbow)
3 Deadlifts 275 lb./185 lb.
4 Jewish Makers (Man-makers but for Jews)
5 Weighted Sit Ups 35 lb./15 lb.
6 Jewish Kettle Bell Swings 1.5 pood/1 pood (American Kettle Bell Swings with an “Oi” at the top … no “Oi”, no rep)
7 Plyo Push Ups
8 Strict Pull Ups

Rep Scheme
1
1, 2
1, 2, 3
… and so on until you hit 8 …

After you complete the round ending in 8 strict pull ups, you go down the ladder ONCE (8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1) to complete the Festival of Suck. Yes, whiners, that means you do 8 strict pull ups twice. See how we suckered you into 16? Man, we’re good!

Why are we going back down again?
Because we’re Jews and we know how to suffer better than anyone else … take that 12 Days of Christmas WOD!

Thanks to all who came and made this morning an absolute blast … well, there was some fun amidst all the suck. See you tomorrow for your regularly schedule Christianity-based programming :).

Yep. John’s face says it all regarding the Jew Makers. Oi, they sucked!

Nancy crushing the Jewish KB swings!

Even the future Jews got in on the action … way to go little man (sorry, Aimee did great, too :)!

The 8:15 party … minus the WOD creator who has gone into hiding for safety.