Smolotov Squatail Anyone?

It’s squat time!

Can you tell that I’ve been anxiously awaiting the start of our Smolov (Jr.) cycle and am super-excited that it’s here? No? Well, I am.

Anyway, in the event that you missed either Alan, Jackie, Brian or myself blathering about our Smolov cycle, here’s how it works:

What?
Smolov, Jr. is a four-week squat cycle wherein participants will squat heavy and often (4x per week) in order to increase strength and, more importantly, improve our squat form and technique. In 5 weeks, we will test our numbers by going for a new 1RM and I suspect all of those participating will see significant gains, except for me because you can’t get more awesomer strongerer than me.

When?
On Tuesdays, all classes will squat. The other 3 sanctioned squats days are: Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

How do those work, you ask?

Easy …

Thursdays:
Option 1: come to the regularly scheduled CrossFit class (6 AM or 8:15 AM), get your squats on and then complete a shorter MetCon.
Option 2: come to the gym at 7 AM and squat then (that’s when most of the coaches will be squatting on Thursdays).

Saturdays:
This time is fairly fluid, as it will probably be slightly different for each of the following 4 Saturdays. So, make sure the following people can get a hold of you: Craig, Alan, Brian, Jackie, you Mom (Seriously, you didn’t give your Mom your number? You’re an asshole!), Obama, Boehner, and Tim Cook (Alan’s less stronger but way richer brother).

We will schedule the time for Saturday squats towards the end of each week and then a coach will both post a note on the blog and contact (text message/emails) everyone who we know to be participating.

Sundays:
We will squat around 8 AM, prior to the 9 AM WOD.

But I Can’t Get There on xxxxxxday? 
Not a problem. I have a metric shitton of insults for all who use this excuse. Also, a coach will meet with you on an alternate day or figure something out so you, too, can be part of the nicer-ass, fatter-wallet squat cycle … I mean Smolov.

But I Don’t Wanna Squat!
Seriously?

You sicken me.

Now go get your ass under a bar and start standing up and down over and over.

As usual, Rippetoe says it best.

Smolov, Jr. Week 1, Day 1
6x
6 High Bar Back Squats @ 70% of 1RM
rest ~2 minutes between sets

MetCon (which fully sucked ass, by the way)
12 minutes
30 Seconds Max Sumo Deadlift High Pull 95 lb./65 lb.
30 Seconds Rest

That. One. Sucked.