Kicking Froning's ass is just months away.

Almost $250K Richer

In a mere few months, I will be $250,000 richer and you will all be sad … until I buy you something nice with my winnings … like a burpee rack.

Kicking Froning's ass is just months away.

Kicking Froning’s ass is just months away.

That’s right peoples … the 2014 CrossFit Games Open registration has begun. Now go donate $20 so Glassman can get another private jet and we can compete and have fun! Because CrossFit isn’t fun if you’re not paying something … apparently.

Seriously, go register. NOW.

I’ll wait here until you’re done.





Seriously, why are you still reading this … go freaking register already!

Thanksgiving Schedule 2013

It’s hard to believe but Thanksgiving really is right around the corner … in fact, rumor has it that it’s one week from today (I wouldn’t know, calendars are for commies).

In honor of eatin’ turkeys and pie, here’s our schedule for the holiday week.

Monday: 6 AM class
Tuesday: 6 AM class
Thursday: 9 AM class
Friday: 9 AM class

I have added these classes to our calendar but it can take a day or so for the calendar to update on our site from Google.

If you have any questions, please let us know.

Thanks, and have a happy and safe Turkey Day.


Daaaaaaaaamn, she's hot!

Did You See Her?

I can’t believe I missed her today!?!

Daaaaaaaaamn, she's hot!

Daaaaaaaaamn, she’s hot!

After WW’s visit, we got back to the business of squatting. Smolov style!

For the Squatters
Smolov, Jr. Week 2, Day 2
7x 5
High Bar Back Squat @ 75% of 1RM + 10 lb. (or more)

Then …
Max Effort Strict Pull Ups
10 Good Mornings AHAP (as heavy as possible)
20 Superman/womans

For the non-Squatters
20 Minute AMRAP
5 Pull Ups
10 Push Ups
15 Squats

Happy Halloween from everyone’s sexiest and most favoritest super hero:

See you all tomorrow!

See you all tomorrow!

Not sure if you should eat it?  Think about this and then go eat more meat.

Smolotov Squatail Anyone?

It’s squat time!

Can you tell that I’ve been anxiously awaiting the start of our Smolov (Jr.) cycle and am super-excited that it’s here? No? Well, I am.

Anyway, in the event that you missed either Alan, Jackie, Brian or myself blathering about our Smolov cycle, here’s how it works:

Smolov, Jr. is a four-week squat cycle wherein participants will squat heavy and often (4x per week) in order to increase strength and, more importantly, improve our squat form and technique. In 5 weeks, we will test our numbers by going for a new 1RM and I suspect all of those participating will see significant gains, except for me because you can’t get more awesomer strongerer than me.

On Tuesdays, all classes will squat. The other 3 sanctioned squats days are: Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

How do those work, you ask?

Easy …

Option 1: come to the regularly scheduled CrossFit class (6 AM or 8:15 AM), get your squats on and then complete a shorter MetCon.
Option 2: come to the gym at 7 AM and squat then (that’s when most of the coaches will be squatting on Thursdays).

This time is fairly fluid, as it will probably be slightly different for each of the following 4 Saturdays. So, make sure the following people can get a hold of you: Craig, Alan, Brian, Jackie, you Mom (Seriously, you didn’t give your Mom your number? You’re an asshole!), Obama, Boehner, and Tim Cook (Alan’s less stronger but way richer brother).

We will schedule the time for Saturday squats towards the end of each week and then a coach will both post a note on the blog and contact (text message/emails) everyone who we know to be participating.

We will squat around 8 AM, prior to the 9 AM WOD.

But I Can’t Get There on xxxxxxday? 
Not a problem. I have a metric shitton of insults for all who use this excuse. Also, a coach will meet with you on an alternate day or figure something out so you, too, can be part of the nicer-ass, fatter-wallet squat cycle … I mean Smolov.

But I Don’t Wanna Squat!

You sicken me.

Now go get your ass under a bar and start standing up and down over and over.

As usual, Rippetoe says it best.

As usual, Rippetoe says it best.

Smolov, Jr. Week 1, Day 1
6 High Bar Back Squats @ 70% of 1RM
rest ~2 minutes between sets

MetCon (which fully sucked ass, by the way)
12 minutes
30 Seconds Max Sumo Deadlift High Pull 95 lb./65 lb.
30 Seconds Rest

That. One. Sucked.

But I Love Trees

Yes, we all know Alan hates trees and the environment … it’s the Rush Limbaugh in him. He can’t help it.

But, if you love granola, hippies, the Grateful Dead, trees and other useless shit on this earth that you want to save, then have I ever got a treat for you!

Starting TONIGHT (Monday, October 21) … not today, not in an hour but TONIGHT … you can log your daily food results into a web app specifically for us Hypoxia folks.

Here’s how it works as of tonight:

  1. Set up a new account at (registration is dead simple: name, email and password). PLEASE use your name … I am deleting any non-Hypoxia people who try to join our fun.
  2. Once logged in you will be presented with a form … it should be pretty self-explanatory. It is a full-day’s of eating form. This is not something you have to do after each meal … just once a day (even the next day) to tally what you ate. All you do is answer the questions, the web app will do the rest.

Coming soon:

  1. Leaderboard
  2. Reviewing your daily food intake as well as the daily food intake of others (i.e., what you/they entered on the form)

As with all things technical and computer-related, email Maureen if you have any issues.